Making Lotions and the Challenges Thereof  

So, there's been a lot of chaos lately.  Sick animals, home repairs, family COVID outbreak, etc, all while I'm in the process of building up a new business.  And while being a massage therapist is a solid career plan long-term, it can take a while to build up a client base.  During that time, finances are--to put it mildly--precarious.  That means that this year's Christmas presents are pretty much all going to be hand-made, using things that I already have laying around the house.  (I know what you're thinking.  It's almost February, why are we talking about Christmas now?  Well, due to the above-mentioned family COVID outbreak, our Christmas was moved to the first weekend of February, and I am in the last minute anxiety as I realize all the things I haven't done yet.)

Being a person who takes gift giving seriously, I looked around at my admittedly eclectic supply of craft accoutrements and thought, hey, I've got a bunch of oils that I've diffused skin-healing herbs into, let's make the adult females in my family lotion!  I found a recipe on Pintrest, saw that I had all the supplies necessary, and smiled triumphantly.  I was making lotion.  Lots of people did it.  What could be easier?

                                            What I Thought It Would Look Like

(Cue mildly hysterical laughter here.)

Two hours later, I was staring a blob of runny goop with a mixture of rage, despair, and frustration as my immersion blender made burning motor smells at me in resentment.  My skin, counter-top, and kitchen walls were all nice and moisturized, as everything was coated with a substantial amount of oil that had flown out of the jars I was using to emulsify the mixture, so I guess that's one positive thing that came out of it.  Sort of.  (At one point, I had changed into shorts just to supply myself with more exposed skin to wipe off the rogue oils that had escaped the project, despite the fact that it's January.) 

 At that point, from what I could see, the "lotion" was room temperature and about as emulsified as it was going to get.  Plus, the smells coming from my immersion blender made me feel pretty sure it was about to commit suicide out of pure spite if I kept pushing it.  So, I figured I would dump it all into a mixing bowl, and if any excess water gathered, I would blot it out with a paper towel.  

This resulted in large globs of soft lotion sticking to the paper towel, which seemed wasteful, so I put the bowl in the fridge.  Once the lotion was cold, it would be harder, I could tip the bowl in its side, and all the water would run to the edge for blotting.  Right?  

After two days of this, I left the lotion out overnight to return to room temperature.  I woke this morning to a watery nightmare the consistency of awful, maliciously mocking me for my earlier crafting hubris.  The entire thing is currently sitting in a stainless steel colander lined with cheese cloth.

                                                    What It Currently Looks Like

Will I actually give this mess to people for Christmas?  It's looking doubtful, which means I have only a few more days to replace the gifts for four family members.  On the positive side, even though it's mildly disgusting, the lotion works, so I should be set for moisturizer for a good long while.

Throughout this ordeal, I've been slowly plugging away at a new novel.  I'm almost finished with the fourth chapter.  I've been having trouble connecting with my main character, but I think I've managed to work out the kinks in our relationship in the past few days, so I'm feeling good about this one.  There will be murder, action, romance, magical exotic pets, an obnoxious ex, and a hot new potential for romance.  But for now, I'll leave you with these cute pictures of my dogs. 

Jo, the Uncrafty